Not just a crush

Good Morning ! Pagi ni semangat pulak nak update blog ni yang dah lama terbengkalai. Salam maal hijrah to all. Azam tahun baru saya kali ni adalah untuk prepare myself to be a better woman dan insyaAllah menjadi jodoh terbaik jugak.

Speaking of this, lately memang Allah banyak uji aku. Sejak aku start kerja ni memang banyak ujian dari kaum lelaki. Nasib baik iman aku masih kuat. Harap-harap aku tak terpesong dari matlamat aku.

Tapi mungkin juga Allah dah maqbulkan doa aku selama ni. Aku selalu doa supaya dipercepatkan jodoh aku. But, I've built enough hard shells around my heart. I don't wanna get hurt, I don't want to expect anything from anyone anymore. Now, I've become so heartless, I don't have feelings for anyone anymore.

Tapi kalau memang Allah jodohkan aku dengan sesiapa pun aku tak kisah. But, I will always wait for this someone I have admired for so long. He has my heart all this while, although he does not know that. It's funny that I get very shy and nervous whenever he's around. It was a never-ending crush. I kept on falling for him over and over. Although I don't see him around anymore, he's still the one I think of everyday. See how critical is that? After the first time I met him, aku dah start buat istikharah. Because it was so weird, I didn't know him but I can't stop thinking of him. Usually if I had a crush on anyone, it would be on that instant only. Lepas tu dah tak ingat langsung. Sampai sekarang aku still berharap that he would at least like me as a friend.

Dear crush, I don't know how long it will be until someone else propose to me, but there's a side of me that still wants and waiting for you. Don't you want to be with me too?